Female life model in 2 poses - kneeling with twisted torso, and balancing on hands and feet. 2-minute poses © Janet E Davis 2011
Week 17 was the fifth in the third block of once-a-week sessions. It was the penultimate session, and I managed to be late for the first time, by about eight or ten minutes.
I went on to draw what are still looking like some of the worst life drawings I have ever done. I became unsure about what drawing materials to use, and ended up using a Pitt pencil which gives a relatively sharp, very black line for some. The worst drawing was using pastels.
My sense of composition vanished for a while. My ability to measure proportions by sight disappeared. Being late and rushing to start drawing had thrown me a bit, but the first two had been better drawings than the third and fifth.
At the end of the session, I shoved the drawings into the back of the car and could not even face bringing them into the house for several days.
I think I know why I drew so badly in this penultimate session. I was very conscious that I had only one more after that, felt that I had to try to do something ‘worthwhile,’ and consequently started the 10-minute and longer poses more tentatively. I was cross with myself for arriving late and missing at least 2 or 3 quick poses. The choice of the tight lines of the Pitt pencil was also a bad one when I was already quite tense. I knew as soon as I started drawing on the creased Canson paper that it was a mistake to try to draw on something that creased, especially since it was bigger that the drawing board.
Female life model seated on chair, 20-minute pose © Janet E Davis 2011.
So, I messed up. I had a moment of thinking that I might not publish all the drawings, but I had made the decision at the beginning that I would display the drawings regardless of how awful they turned out to be.
What did I get from this session? Maybe that, even when I have tried to convince myself that I was focusing on process, I was still clinging onto the idea that I needed to produce a perfect end product. I realised that I was annoyed with myself for not getting it right, and that I need to be able to do that without being so cross with myself afterwards.
After next week, there are no more life drawings sessions until September. It is possible that there will be no places left by the time I can afford to book a place. The places were already going quickly. I found myself thinking that I ought to let other people have an opportunity to do life drawing.
I would like to be able to more life drawing, for half or whole days, or even for a weekend now and then. I would like to do some life painting. For now, I have to concentrate on trying to be more relaxed for the last session, and on what I do instead of life drawing for at least a month or maybe longer.
Do have a look at all the drawings from this 17th session.
Further reading and more images
Links to pages of life drawings
More of my posts about life drawing
Life drawings 2011 [week 1] post
Life drawings 2011 week 4 post
Life drawings 2011 week 5 post
Life drawing weeks 11 and 12 post
Tags: drawing, life model
July 24, 2011 at 2:32 pm |
I know just what you are saying about clinging to an outcome. That has happened to me a few times this last group of drawing sessions.